


i don't know what to title this

by orphan_account



Category: Original Work
Genre: Vent Work, venting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-16
Updated: 2019-02-16
Packaged: 2019-10-29 22:36:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 308
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17816810
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Call 1-800-273-8255 if you need helpafraid to call?text HOME to 741741sorry for those who are not in the us, i will be sure to search the internet far and wide for your country if needed betw; vomit mention and suicide mentionstay safe





	i don't know what to title this

**Author's Note:**

> 18 years of being alive

the fish tank filter is gently making noise

the phone notifications aren't going off

it's silent in the house

but it's not silent inside my mind

all i can hear is thoughts

screams

cries

laughter

but it still stays silent in the house

until my fingers press down on the keys on my laptop

tap tap tap they go

but i wish it was loud enough to drown the voices inside my head

i always seem to find myself in heavy times

sad times

crying times

vomiting times

whatever it may be

the voices are still there

why am i alive, i ask myself, what's the point

yes i have friends

family's a little broken but it's okay

a girlfriend

i'm in school and i'll graduate soon

maybe ill get accepted into my dream college

but it still feels like something's wrong

maybe its the suicidal thoughts that appear at times

the staring down at the window

wondering where i could run off too 

there's a skull that sits in my room

of course, it's fake, i got it for halloween but something about it makes me feel envious 

though it is not correct in its features, it still looks human

i think of stories for it

dreams it must've had 

a voice it must've spread 

before it died

 

i don't know where my writing was going 

i really dont

but you ever just feel hopeless?

sad?

envious of those who are no longer with us?

i do

a lot

and i dont know why i do or what to do

i dont take medication

im afraid of impulsive actions 

sometimes i do wonder how i would be if i did take it

would i be better

would i feel better

i dont know

but i think im done writing for now

 

until we meet again

dear reader


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